Alchemy

Strange occurrences unfold at night. On Easter or as I prefer, Ishtar, dreams of a fertile womb. A sign this heart is evolving and I am aligning with the seeds of spring. How beautiful to feel so connected and in love.

The very next evening, trickery, the universe wants to play. Peacefully, in the small hours, eyes flutter open. There’s a figure standing at the edge of the bed. Still as the night, their face glows in the darkness. Overcome with fear and panic, I cry out. Suddenly, synapses connect and I realize, it’s Kincy. I share a room with her at my cousin’s house (or as everyone properly refers to as the Doctor’s headquarters); she’s back from spring break. Her eyes barely move from the glowing screen of her phone. In unison, knowing laughter escapes us, but it is much too late to give a hearty effort. I roll back to sleep.

Later, as if to reconcile prankster terrors of the night, I wake myself up laughing aloud from a dream. Curious night, you present me with surprises.

The air is ionized. Every evening the sky strikes up in lightning. Palm trees outlined in yellow and purple brilliance. Shutting my eyes, I breath electrified air. Dreams are infiltrated by a galvanized atmosphere. Alchemy.

I walk up a spiral staircase, but suddenly I’m holding on by my hands and arms, as if the world has turned upside down. There is no fear of falling, no questioning of this trick of gravity, and no knowledge as to where this Escher-like staircase leads. There is only determination.

Under another evening’s sleeping spell, I live in a world of concrete- stories stacked on stories, escalators, elevators, vendors, and back alley apartments. There’s a frantic element to the air, this world is on the verge of collapse, and I sense it is biological.

I venture down. Down, down, down to the underground. I know I’m not supposed to be there, but I wander freely, unnoticed. Glass rooms where scientists work, hallways filled with people, steam emanating from rooms of science. I know the answer is there. I go back up and tell everyone, “Go down, underground, you’ll find safety there.”

Morning. Eyes open. I rise. Walk down the hall.

“Yadra, Fay.”

“Yadra, Yadra.” Good morning, good morning.

I write, I read, I stretch. Breathing in the smell of wet earth that only constant rain can bring- this weather that keeps me inside, and in turn, inward.

Within my creative process dreams merge with walking life, alchemically the symbols breath themselves into knowing. The path becomes discernible: inward, go inside to see.

The journey from night into day, darkness to light, dream and waking life, I wander the trails of this existence and feel the singular bond between my blood and ancestral grounds. It is here I am meant to connect the outer and the inner worlds and fuse my own alchemy, the magic of this life.

Lessons From Within

Can you see me? Deep, deep down? My heart is wide open, and there’s lots of room. I’m going on a journey to find my way back home. Crossing the ocean to reach my islands. They’ve been waiting so long. So much longing, but still I’m afraid, says the child inside.

My mother tells me, “I carried you in my womb. Still I carry you. When you walk with your bare feet on the ground, I hold you. When you rest your head on a coconut tree, I am there.”

But what if I fall?

My grandmother tells me, “When your tears fall, I have sat beside you and cleaned your face. My hands have touched yours. When you weep, it is a prayer, and I am there.”

But what if I get lost?

My sister tells me, “You’ve come as a seeker. You are a warrior. You are a goddess. When you look up at the stars, I see you. You’ve come for a reason, and you are guided. You’re never alone.”

My sister, my grandmother, my mother- they are all parts of me, pieces of my heart. I’ve come here to love and learn about love. And I know there is still room in my heart, and it is wide open.

Photo: ehscapist

Morning Meditation

  
Feeling the importance of putting energy into people and goals that reciprocate and feed those intentions and care.  Sometimes it feels like the mind doesn’t stop; mulling over and analyzing the source of these stresses that just can’t be helped, getting lost in the dissatisfaction of it all.  Step away, redirect, and aim at building upon and nurturing the things that will do the same for you.